A new season.

I need a change. I'm going home for the weekend for my sister's graduation, which is good... but I need something bigger. I need a break from classes, and a new lab.

Basically, I found out in the last week or so that none of my 3 rotation labs this year have the space or funding to take me on as a thesis student. Other than classes, my job this year is to find a permanent home to do my Ph.D. It's not that I haven't had good experiences, but had I known going into it that all three of the labs I worked in were hard up for funding, space or both, I may have made different decisions.

I'm mostly sour because it's the Prof's job to weigh his or her ability to take on students and share that upfront, and one of mine made a misjudgement and then backpedalled after I -- after several students, in fact -- started working for him. We're still expected to come to lab and work on our projects, of course. It's a little disheartening.

Realistically, I'm not the only student in my program right now in this situation (which doesn't necessarily help any of us, but we're not alone.) Summer lab rotations are an option, and I've jumped right on the task of contacting other P.I.'s (that's "primary investigators" for non-sciencey types) with research that interests me and, hopefully, the resources to take me on. I intend to have a summer plan squared away by the end of the quarter. I've interviewed with one promising lead so far, although more options wouldn't hurt.

There needs to be a bulletin board or a personals ad system in science to hook up grad students with researchers. "Student, good pipetting hands and blot technique, seeking Assistant Professor with funds for neurobiology of degenerative diseases. Pref. downtown, new faculty OK, no despots." Maybe I should shop that to matchmaker websites.

Oh yeah: Still running. Still mostly hating it, particularly from the point when I wake up in the morning on running days to the point where we stop running. Although, the realization that I don't have to run again until the day after tomorrow! is a pretty good feeling. Our route has increased to 2 miles, of which I can do about 1.5 without stopping if we take a pretty slow pace. I guess that means my endurance is going up, since I've never in my life been able to make such a statement. I still don't know about 5k, but we've got a few more weeks.

Week 1, so far so good, still hating it

I thought I'd offer an update on the training regimen, since it appears I'm actually sticking with this little project (see previous post if you have no idea what I'm talking about). The protocol involves running a set distance Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays (for this week and next it's 1.5 miles, though we do allow a few short walking breaks) and an hourlong walk on Sundays.

We started last Saturday, so today marks the end of the first week. I was noticeably sore on Sunday and Monday, but since then it hasn't been painful. Believe it or not, I still hate running with the burning passion of 10,000 suns. Most of what is going through my head as we go along involves contemplating every single little bodily pain as it arises, listening to the horrific cacaphony of my own breathing, and wishing we could stop. Pretty much every moment.

I went to the campus health center and got a new prescription for an albuterol inhaler, which is likely to help with the wheeziness and feelings of shortness of breath. I was on the medication for reactive airway back in high school when I couldn't shake a chronic cough, and those symptoms seem to be coming back since I got over my last cold, which just makes it that much harder to breathe. I hate taking the stuff since it makes me feel like I'm overly caffeinated all day long, but for now I'm going to try it on the days that we run.

Hopefully I'll be able to break out of these negative mental patterns and enjoy the weather, the scenery (our weekday route takes us right along lake Michigan in Evanston) or *gasp* maybe even the process itself as my body acclimates. We'll see...