Keeping sane... so far

My final write-up is due Monday morning. I can do this!

Still, a little gallows humor appeals to me:

(http://tombstone.dogcrap.net/tombstone.php)

And... done.

Do I go home and sleep for an hour? Eh, I'm awake now. German homework awaits!

Let's never do this again.

I'd give anything not to write this paper

It's 3:40 am and I'm just over halfway done with my anthropology paper, which I started at 11. If it wasn't a required distribution credit, I would seriously consider taking a mulligan on this class and taking a break for once. Why on earth do I do this to myself? Okay, if I hadn't been stuck in the lab until 8:30 last night and 9:30 tonight trying to get my honors data done... deadline friday... I would have started. Well, drat.

And I'm in the lab again tomorrow at 8am. And I haven't done any busywork for seminar or German. And I need to work on rewrites for two other major papers and my poster for my first professional conference AND prepare for my honors oral defense.

Well, some of that rides on getting done in the lab. If I don't complete my tissue analysis and make it a more substantial part of the paper, I can't recieve honors credit. Okay, I didn't have much by way of data when the draft was due... but I don't have that much more now, and I can't turn in what is essentially a rewrite of my summer science and expect to get away with it. It would suck to do all of this work and only get an independent study out of it, although to cut back now would take another paper off my back, as well as the oral. Well, I'll do the best I can. Either way I can be proud of the work I've done... but I'm too stubborn to cut my losses and ditch this dream without driving myself a little crazy first. Curse my overachieving nature!

Okay, back to this paper. I'd really like a couple of hours of sleep tonight since I have at least a 16 hour day ahead of me tomorrow. It feels good to vent.

I win

Entering a raffle on your birthday is a great idea! I got a raffle ticket at the Take Back the Night carnival on Saturday night, and apparently I've won the grand prize, a brand new VCR/DVD-player. Plus I got an awesome new DVD in the mail for my birthday (yay Red Dwarf series II!)

If only I had a TV...

or time to watch anything...

It's freakin' APRIL 24TH!

And it's freakin' SNOWING!

I must be in freakin' OHIO!

(p.s. Happy Birthday to me yesterday... an extra hour of sleep in the morning does a world of good!)

kids today...

A beautiful day

Ah, slacking off... at least until dinner. I had a NAP this afternoon, and farted around on the internet. Okay, so I have a German exam tomorrow that I'm not particularly prepared for, and I've got lab in the morning, and some reading to do for a couple of classes, and eventually I'll have to give a thought to my anth paper and finishing my honors and neurobio proposals, but at the same time it's struck me that it's all downhill from here.

Yeah, I need to figure next year out in finer detail (a place to live would be nice) and there are a few more milestone events left to suck up my time (like finishing my honors, and another chamber singers performance, and cornerstones gigs, and finals, to name a few) but it's still less to do than I had on my plate a month ago. Or a week ago for that matter. Or maybe it feels that way because there is an end in sight, this whole graduation deal, and I feel ready for it. Commencement really will be just that, another new start.

Or maybe I'm just relieved that Ohio finally feels like spring, and glad that I've got a birthday (the big 2-2!) this weekend, and pleased that I'm NOT crashing from a whirlwind weekend that included, as always, as many goodbyes as hellos. Mike's recital was wonderful. His family was fabulous as always. And the music... I've heard most of the program before in one form or another, but never a live performance.

Well, there was the one song, the song I didn't expect... He wrote it when we were probably 17 or so, maybe almost 18, and I've only ever heard a couple of his attempts to play through it, with lots of starts and stops. The guitarist he got to play it was great; too bad that the amp crackled a bit in the middle, but it was still fabulous and brought me immediately back to the mindset I was in the first time I heard it. Ah, to be 17, and completely flummoxed by feelings that you don't quite feel old enough to be having, despite the obvious fact that you are, since it's real and exciting and scary and oh so much fun...

Funny how that parallels being almost 22, with a wide world at your feet and new adventures ahead... I've got a broader and deeper palette of experinces to draw from now, and I've learned so much, and yet that butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling is irrepressably the same. Well, look at how well it turned out last time I felt this way! I may dislike change on many levels, but I could very well be developing a taste for adventure.

A million down, a million and one left to go.

I survived my recital! Actually, I was pretty pleased with how it went. I was a little nervous for the Italian section, so I wasn't able to be as emotionally expressive as I had intended, but after that I got into the swing of things and had a great time. The big closer got all the laughs I hoped for, although I occasionally hit the "wrong" note and stayed in key with the accompaniment when I was supposed to clash. As I keep telling everyone who asks, I'm SO glad it's over. I didn't sign up to sing at a voice area recital, I don't have to do juries... except I still have lessons, which are already paid for. Quite frankly, I'd give them money at this point to tell me I didn't have to go. Since Chamber Singers is still in full swing and Cornerstones is picking up again, the extra hour a week is looking more and more valuable to me.

My honors paper, or at least the first complete draft, is due Friday. It's about 50% written. My humongous neurobiology grant proposal is due Thursday, and I've got about 30% of that paper. Luckily it's also a draft, but I'd like to make it as complete as possible so I can take advantage of the class peer review aspect... If I were writing a "real" grant proposal, I'd be freaking out right now. I've got an undergraduate research conference on Saturday to prepare for tonight, but hopefully I can cut and paste a powerpoint from old presentations and my summer science poster pretty easily... I've run updated stats and my behavioral data are much more exciting in full analysis... gosh, I must sound boring. Anyway, we're having a lab meeting tonight with chinese food to get things in order. Yay sweet and sour chicken!

Extra yay... Saturday evening after the conference I'm flying to Kansas City for Mike's senior composition recital. As long as I can get everything done in time between now and then, I'll actually be able to take a breather for a day and NOT frantically work towards a billion deadlines. I'm even on top of things for the Fulbright... I've scheduled my physical, (next Tuesday) filled out the German self-test and University application, and even started looking into housing options. Even with these two papers to complete, I'm feeling on top of things for the moment. Plus today is Honors Day, so I get to stand in front of the whole school in my kickin' new duds and officially be recognized for the award. I won't be onstage unfortunately, and I hope the Nuge (the college president) pronounces my name right this year! I think they are also presenting the Neuroscience departmental award, which means I can support Tyler. He really deserves it. Well, we both do, but they can't rightfully give the senior award to half the senior majors. I was a little jealous at first when I realized that I was being passed over, but I've made my peace with it and now I'm just happy for him.

Whoops, lost track of time! Off to neurobio!

super duper busy!

Gosh, it's been a while! Running tissue samples in the lab for 30 hours a week sure cuts into my slacking-off time, I suppose. The nice thing is that I'm making serious progress with my honors data. The paper... is another story. I'm bound and determined to make it happen, though. It's hard to find chunks of time to write when I'm struggling to stay on top of the day to day, but now that the Cornerstones and Chamber Singers concerts are done (yesterday and today, respectively, and both were freakin' AWESOME if I do say so myself) I may be able to reclaim some of my life.

On other, extraordinarily exciting fronts... on Friday morning I sent several e-mails to various graduate programs, letting three schools know that I would be declining their admissions offers, and telling Northwestern University (Institute for Neuroscience) that I'm planning to attend next fall. It gives one a nice rush to be decisive. On Friday afternoon, though, I got a letter. My Fulbright application has been accepted, and I'm going to Germany next year. So I sent another e-mail to Northwestern to say, scratch that, I meant fall 2006, let me know what I have to do to defer my admission. Now I have lots of paperwork to fill out, and lots to organize...

Lots and lots to do...