I made it!

Ahhhhhh... it's SO nice to be home again!

Some highlights from the last few days:

• The choir concert was okay. I know I had most stuff memorized, and I think it would have been much better if we had been able to get noses out of the music. The soloists screwed up the entrances of my favorite section of the Oratorio, which made me sad. But the church was packed, and we got a good audience response. I still had fun.
• I got to Frankfurt uneventfully, only to learn that the hotel I booked for the night was way the heck out in the boondocks. According to my cab driver, it would have been a 60 Euro trip. Yikes! It was too late to cancel the reservation, but my cab driver found me a different hotel, and then offered to come pick me up again the next morning to go to the airport. That worked out wonderfully, especially since I had left my cell phone in the cab the night before! The hotel was a bit of a dive and drunk people kept trying to get into my room in the middle of the night, but at least it was clean.
• Stupid Delta only allows 50 lb suitcases for international flights now. $25 fee for my 69 lb bag... luckily I'm unloading presents and a few other unneeded items before my flight back!
• I got airsick for the first time in my life... not on the 10 h 30 min international flight, but between Atlanta and StL. Gross. The plane was a decent size and the flight was pretty smooth, but I hope it was just a one time thing.
• Related to that, and a possible cause... I now have a monster cold, another fabulous import to share with my loved ones. But it's fair, because I'm sure they'll reciprocate and share their American germs with me.
• Kailyn does not stop talking. It's kind of amazing. We had a Princess Parade, and danced to me singing "You Are My Sunshine" for something like half an hour. I really wish I could stick around until her 3rd birthday party in January. Justin seems to like Kindergarten. Neither of them play along when I try to teach them German, though.
• Last night I drove a car for the first time in 4 months - while hopped up on sudafed.
• I love sudafed. I'd go buy a whole lot of it to smuggle back into Germany, but I don't want the local pharmacists to think I'm cooking meth. Maybe I can get mom to snag me some more from work.
• I am home, Mike is here. Just mentally add about a million exclamation points to that sentance, and you'll get the gist.
• We went out for his birthday yesterday. I meant to give him 2 glass Apfelschorle bottles for his "collection," but I dropped the bag while I was getting into the car. Luckily one survived, but I felt rather silly.
• It's a struggle not to say "Danke" automatically.
• Season 2 of Arrested Development on DVD makes me obscenely happy.

I think that's it for now. I skipped the Rosati reunion thing today because of my cold, but I hope to get in touch with some friends tonight and make plans. Yay!

Just a little... giddy

I woke up extra early this morning (7:30!) and pedalled my way through the rain up to Weende for breakfast with Christina, which was lovely. I also dropped off two tickets for tonight's Uni-chor concert, for Wolfgang and Oma, who is happily out of the hospital after last week's scare and apparently doing well. I was actually able to keep my end of the conversation up the whole time, which is a nice change... When I lived there, I think I was pretty proud of myself just to utter the occasional comprehensible sentence over mealtimes. Christina offered to pick me up tomorrow night and bring me to the train station, which means I don't have to walk with my huge suitcase or spring for a cab. Yay!

Speaking of which, I'm ostensibly packing at the moment. (As excited as I am to go home, I still haven't really started other than writing lists and gathering presents for folks in a big pile.) I also really have to pee, because I drank lots of tea and juice at breakfast... Okay, wierd segue, but I swear I'm going somewhere with this.

Five minutes ago I went into the restroom closest to my room. I quickly noticed that the stall door was locked, even though it was silent inside (understandable... everybody gets stage fright once in a while) so I left again. I had also automatically flipped the light switch for the stall, and as I left the light was out... but then I felt too awkward to go back in again and turn the light back on, so I came back to my room, where I immediately felt so weird about it that I ditched my plan to go back out and use the other bathroom, because I think if I saw anyone in the hall at this point I'd turn beet red, and possibly giggle. We can't be having that, now. So to the person using the facilities, a mystery dorm-mate perfunctorily entered the bathroom, removed his/her light source, and left again. Certainly odd. Discussion questions: does this make me a bad person? How long do I have to wait before I can attempt to utilize the facilities? Because I really do have to pee.

Ahem. This entire train of though is brought to you by the "Alaina is going home in a couple days and thus is more than a little slap-happy at the moment" organization, eV, GmbH.

Mike has informed me that my countdown system is in the Roman style, as I include both the current day and the arrival day in my tally. I've explained that it's a mechanism of self-protection, because by the time I'm down to one day I'm really almost there and I can't torture myself with counting down hours, minutes, and (heaven help me) seconds. Plus, when I think "Three days!" I can reassure myself that the actual remaining time is somewhat shorter, which is a nice thought (although I'm choosing not to figure in the time difference, at least so long as I'm travelling west.) Anyway, three days!!!

Okay, I'm going to post this, and then I'm going to pee, and then I'm going to pack!

A nice surprise

I got a fabulous compliment today.

At least, that's how I'm choosing to interpret it.

I was making some pasta when one of my dorm-mates came into the kitchen and grabbed his own dinner. When I got to the table with my plate of delicious "Spaghetti a la Kiel" (with broiled veggies just like Meghan used to make!) he told me that I'm the first American to live in the dorm that he'd ever seen actually cook. He's been here a while from what I've gathered, so I felt pretty special. (I guess the rest of them lived off Ramen and frozen pizza?)

Anyway, I appear to be able to feed myself like a real live independent adult now... at least to the casual observer. I've mastered a couple variations on about 3 all-purpose meal components (pasta, bread, vegetables) and manage to combine them in useful ways. It's a start! Maybe soon I'll graduate to salads... last time I tried, stuff went bad before I could eat all of it. After that, the sky's the limit! Chicken, even!


Oh, and before I forget! The promised picture from the Irish Pub! Left to right: Claire, Michelle, Laura, Claire-Ann, and me. Claire and Laura live in Göttingen, and the other two were visiting from other nearby towns, where they also teach English. The three Dublin ladies seem to approve of the place, which I suppose counts for something!

(5 DAYS!!)

Today's news

I got an email this morning... No official paperwork yet, but the assistant director of Northwestern's program wanted to let me know that they plan to readmit me. Yahoo! I have plans for next year! Rather, the plan that I had all along is coming to fruition, which is even better.

I was late for my writing class this evening because I lost track of time at my Podestaufbautermin. (See, I can make up my own Kompositen, just like a native speaker!) Anyway, I think I'll just call it the German Riser Crew in English. I managed to not herniate myself, and had lots of fun telling the other folks there about how we get things done where I come from. At least, as far as college choirs in the middle of Ohio are concerned. Unfortunately since I'll be on a plane I won't be able to help with taking them down again.

Post-rehearsal comments: I miss riser etiquette. And mixed formation. And memorization. And understanding all the jokes, even if they made me groan. Otherwise, I'm really excited about Friday. I'm not even bitter anymore about singing Soprano. There's a post-concert party, too.

And then the real party... a billion hours on a plane. But I'm ready! My laundry is drying, I'm working on eating all my perishables, and I've even got a packing list.

Six days!! (EEEEEEEE!)

Good things

So I went to the international Mass on Saturday night. About 10 people were there, including two priests and two musicians. The celebrant also played a little guitar here and there, and with the lot of us sitting in a circle around the alter and the candlelight I couldn't help but get a Chapel vibe. Everything was in English, but the only music I found familiar was the last song, Here I Am, Lord. St. Louis Jesuit, of course. I've known that one by heart for probably 18 years.

After the service I introduced myself to a couple of people, and they actually thanked me for leading the song. It was the first time they had ever used it.

The last little puzzle pieces are finally sliding into place. Of course, now I get to go home. Then again, I'm glad that I had to force myself to hold out through that round of nasty, discombobulated feelings and out the other side. Who knows, if I had been able to take two weeks and go home at that point, I might have decided not to come back.

Of course I'm still excited about Christmas and seeing everyone at home... but now when I come back I have an awesome time ahead of me, not the least of which is the prospect of getting involved in a new faith community. Not to mention social improvements... I spent time the last two weekends with Laura and Claire (and two of their other friends, teaching assistants from Dublin, who were in town this past Saturday.) Probably have a picture around here somewhere from the Irish Pub that I can post later... A couple of the guys from my dorm also keep inviting me to parties, although by the term "inviting" I mostly mean dropping hints about upcoming events a week ahead of time (and never mentioning it again) or commenting ruefully that, had I not gone out with the girls the night before, they would have asked me along to another gathering. They seem nice enough, though.

I also have choir practice every night this week, and the Christmas concert on Friday. Oh, and I joined the Riser Crew! Okay, they don't have a for-real riser crew like Chamber Singers, but they asked for some volunteers to help set up the platforms tomorrow afternoon before our first rehearsal in the church, and I signed up right away. Luckily I have tomorrow off from lab, since I also need to write an essay in German about my Christmas traditions, talk to the dorm office about my mold issue, and get some laundry started if I expect everything to air-dry by the time I go home! Maybe I can find an iron this time, too...

Ugh, time for class. I have a test today that I'm only half prepared for, so wish me luck!

Ewwwwww...

*****Warning for the faint of heart: Just... spare yourself. Please.*****

It seems like there is an unprecedented amount of "yuck" in my life at the moment. Lab isn't the problem, although dissecting 10-day old chicken embryos isn't necessarily lacking in the gross-out factor area. But I also get to do way cool things like the "window-prep," which I learned today. At three days you can actually see the tiny heart pumping away, and man is that neat!

No, my problem at the moment is mold. Although I'm sure scientists that study mold leap for joy at the chance to observe it in its natural habitat, it just doesn't do anything for me.

First off, there's my window. I mentioned before that it has a bit of a condensation problem. I've been taking care of that by opening it up for at least a few minutes every day and turning the heat off when I don't need it. But it is December, after all. Anyway, the window is a little recessed, and lately I've noticed that the corners on either side are splotchy, green, and fuzzy. Gotta talk to the dorm management folks about that before I come home for Christmas.

The window isn't the worst of it, though. I worked in foodservice once, so I am slightly picky about a few things, like leaving the milk out. For hours at a time. Until it develops a skin. Several milimeters thick. Everybody does that here, and it creeps me out... although supposedly this H-Milk is indestructable and doesn't even need to be refrigerated in stores.

Just as a bit of background, they don't refrigerate any beverages in stores here, unless you count yogurt shakes or single-serve items intended for immediate consumption. It's also a big thing for food products to be labelled "ohne Konservierungsstoff," or without preservatives. And the date on the top is always at least a year in the future, so the stuff keeps. Maybe that lulled me into a false sense of security... they must not need to take such hyperbolic American precautions. But just yesterday, I learned the hard way that they don't pasteurize the applejuice.

Granted,the jug was first opened a few weeks ago... but since then, it's been in the fridge. No problem, right?

Oh, wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

The worst of it is that I drank half a glass before I caught on that anything was awry, thanks to the phenomenon of opaque drink containers. Maybe it tasted a little different, I don't even know. What I did notice, however was some kind of wierd transparent pulpy stuff floating around at the bottom of the glass. I actually went to pour some more, which came with even more pulpy-something until glop! Something that I would estimate to be about golf-ball sized and really squishy-sounding disengaged itself from the bottom of the jug and fell to the nozzle, blocking it. That's when I looked - really looked - at the nozzle. A centimeter-long glob of pulpy-whatever hung out forlornly, and the little plastic tab thing that breaks the seal when the cap is turned was... fuzzy. Greenish and fuzzy. Did I mention that I had already imbibed half a glass at this point??

Next time if I can't drink the whole jug in one sitting, it's getting pitched. If there is a next time.

Amazingly, I'm not dead yet. Or even remotely sick. I gave myself a massive dose of gummy bears, just to be on the safe side.

Holiday Cheer

We don't have snow on the ground at the moment, but I'm definitely getting in the Christmas spirit... Due in part, I'm sure, to the creation of an iTunes playlist with the same title as this post. Granted, it's not nearly as glorious my Christmas playlist was last year. When my Lyra Jukebox died it took plenty of hostages down with it, including my oh-so-carefully assembled collection of Jackson 5, Alvin & the Chipmunks, various artists with dental deficiencies, and Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey. (Hee HAW, Hee HAW!) To my credit, I also had lots of decent standards AND the Charlie Brown Christmas music. I think that more than makes up for the Mariah.

Actually, my selections are way classy this year. I've got some Cornerstones stuff, the RK Voices Christmas Novena (recorded the year after I graduated, dang it!) and TWO complete Christmas Oratoria (yes I just made up that plural. J.S. Bach and Saint-Saëns.) Throw in a couple of Ave Marias (Schubert, natch) and some random Handel's Messiah for good measure, and we've got ourselves a Krazy Klassikal/Khoral Khristmas. Or something like that. Too bad Chamber Singers never have time to do Holiday pieces in addition to the tour repertoire...

Anyhow, I've been sitting on some photos, so at long last, here is the Göttinger Weihnachtsmarkt!


This Weender Strasse, which runs north-south all the way from Weende (where the Krebs' live) to town. This is the north entrance to the Stadtzentrum. I think the lights are just as pretty as middle path.


The Aula, am Wilhelmsplatz, at night.


A blurry shot of the Weender Strasse a little further south, where it meets the Gänselieselplatz in front of the Altes Rathaus. The lights are everywhere, not to mention food and drink and crafts and music and people...


I posted a picture from roughly this angle in front of the Altes Rathaus when the decorations were first going up... the difference is amazing. The lights are too bright to really make it out, but the boothish looking thing just to the right of center is a carousel. There are more booths behind the Altes Rathaus and all around the Johanniskirche.


Alongside St. Johannis. The old Stadtbibliothek (City Library) put up pictures in all the windows like an Advent Calendar.


A better angle for the windows.


A little further along next to St. Johannis. Sorry for the blur, but you can still see the ferris wheel!


And now for something completely different... There was a llama on the Gänselieselplatz last week. Here is Laura, another Fulbrighter in town. She teaches English at the Max Planck Gymnasium.


And of course yours truly. No, not the llama.


Something else I've been meaning to post... All the Horsaale (lecture halls) in the ZHG (one of the main Uni buildings) are numbered, but somebody took a little creative license with this one. I think that's why they hold the infiltration and espionage classes here.

Home in 12 days! Yay!

Back to work... and a new toy

I'm posting from the lab, where I am actually working on my German homework. How's that for multitasking? Ahem... or graduate level procrastination, whichever floats your boat.

I get to write an essay on my thoughts about Studiengebühren. That's right, ask the Kenyon alum how she feels about the concept of tuition in higher education, because that's not going to open up a whole can of really nasty worms. Surprisingly, I find myself defending the idea, at least where the German system is concerned. Yes, it's out of hand in the US, especially with the nasty trickle-down financial inequality that has reached the level of Kindergarten in some places... But I'm also a product of private schools, and I appreciate the value of what I've received. My parents worked and saved. I worked pretty darn hard at school to get the grades that gave me access to scholarships, not to mention the full-time employment over summers and breaks... plus multiple on-campus jobs (I think at one point I had three.)

A car or a Kenyon education? I made my choice.

Hmm, I guess I should try to write out at least some of this in German so I can actually turn it in!

*****

A little nerd-alert aside... I caught a BBC segment a while back about a nifty internet homepage thingamajig called Protopage. I've been fiddling with it, and I like the idea, especially since the Kenyon homepage thingie punked out on me earlier this year. Some new features have just been added, and now it supports RSS- and Atom-feeds for news and such, including (hint hint) blogs. Yay! If you want a way rad customizable homepage, give it a try. Oh, and if you ever want to add a link or feed for this site, there's a new button under the archive. That's it, a little to the right... now scroll down... you've got it!

Clarifications

Ahem... It has come to my attention that the last post came across as slightly worrisome to people who care about me. (I love you too, mom!)

First of all, my apologies. I meant to save that as a draft this afternoon and add to it for later, but in my rush to head into town I posted a little prematurely. Yes, I did have a pretty bad week, but as I mentioned, things are quite a bit better at the moment. I even remembered to take my iron!

I've been more social in the past couple of days than I've been in quite some time, and it has done me undeniable good. While I'd never consider myself a dyed-in-the-wool extrovert, I've definitely been OD'ing on the "personal time" lately, and I guess I didn't realize how psychologically damaging lonliness can be. (Note to self: I never want to live in a single again. EVER. If I'm not living with a family/MY family, I want a roommate.)

I found a good set of New Year's resolutions: I'm going to be better about forcing myself out of the room and into society. I'm going to quit thinking that being independent and self-sufficient means/isn't diametrically opposed to hermiting myself away to "deal with" my worries and fears all by myself. I'm going to embrace this year fully as the chance of a lifetime, and not something to "get through" before I can get on with my "real" plans.

Some of this stuff has been floating around in my head for a while, but I've been hiding from it, pushing it away and hoping it would take care of itself. It won't. If I'm really unhappy here, I need to give myself a fair shot at addressing the root problems.

And I don't even think I'm really unhappy, particularly not at the moment. Of course I could potentially be more happy right now... if Mike and I were in the same place, for example. But that's hardly a new development... and in two weeks' time, I can actually enjoy a real live hug again. Just two weeks...

In short, things are going to be okay, and I love you.

Reality check

I've once again become derelict in my posting duties, but considering the fact that I spent the greater part of this week feeling sorry for myself, and that now I feel kind of silly about the whole thing, it's probably for the best.

I don't know if it's the early sunsets, or the proximity of the holiday season combined with acute homesickness, or hormonal flux, but I don't think I've had such a downtrodden feeling before. Even when I freaked out about moving into the dorm, I still did my work, showered daily and fed myself regularly. I haven't even been in to the lab since Monday. And the worst part was that I acted like everything was okay... to myself and to the few people I interacted with. The control-freak side of my nature can't admit weakness, even to myself.

I feel like I'm on the upswing again, but mostly due to the buoyount prospect of going home in just over two weeks. Without that carrot-on-a-stick to orient to, I think I'd really be lost. Part of me wonders if this feeling of fragility will actually go away after a couple weeks at home, and worries that I might just be setting myself up for something really nasty when I come back here in January.

But I am really doing better. Even at my worst this week, I wasn't a total wreck. I baked bread, and did eat at least one major meal a day. I did all my laundry, which was a big deal since it's the first time I bothered since moving in here. And luckily for me, I DO have friends here. I've been kind of bad about meeting my dorm-mates, mostly because I'm still self-conscious about my German. But I met up with Laura and Claire again last night, and their friend Tim. That was a major boost, and largely responsible for getting me back to a healthy frame of mind. We had dinner, chatted, and wandered around the Weihnachtsmarkt a bit. Yes, I went on the Christmas-themed ferris wheel!