Second semester senior year is confusing.
I feel like I should be overwhelmed already, but I'm understandably hesitant to rush things. My applications are submitted. My classes are mostly pinned down, although the workload has yet to kick in. I'm slowly getting back to all the usual activities. I've done this before... and yet, it's different somehow. I've never particularly liked change, so I was willing to chalk it up to the transition from home-hometown to home-college... that's not quite it, though.
Maybe it is still the specter of change, in the sense that I know it's coming and I'm going to be expected to uproot myself from this place and venture independently forth, after four years spent establishing myself and making friends and becoming comfortable. It doesn't help that my future is in a state of flux. Will I be in Germany next year? Will I be in a good grad program, and which one, on what side of the country? How much longer is my long-distance relationship going to be long-distance, and how is that transition going to work itself out?
Maybe I need my workload to kick in. I prefer the more concrete and accessable to keep my mind occupied. I won't have time to pine for home and boyfriend, or get myself worked up about my future. I have Neurobio tomorrow morning. I predict a distinct improvement. Goodnight!
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1 comment:
I suppose we could always refuse to leave for another four years. That would solve the uprooting dilemma. :-P
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