should... be... working...

I'm working on my nutritional anthropology take-home exam. And by "working on" I mean listening to my random music (current playlist selection: Miles Davis - In a Silent Way), checking my e-mail every few seconds, and writing this. I have no idea how I'm supposed to make it to the end of this week without going slightly crazy or completely giving up on sleep. I've got appointments out the wazoo, two or three weeks of backlogged homework to sort out, midterms galore, ever-intensifying musical obligations, and I MUST get into the lab and get some work done or my whole honors project is going to be reduced to an independent study. (It won't go down the tubes, of course, but I've been planning on doing honors for so long that I don't think I can handle missing my opportunity now!) Oh, and I need to e-mail Germany and make sure they still remember that I exist. ("Fulbright applicant? WHAT Fulbright applicant? Never heard of her." Only in German.) Blah blah blah.

Just when I was hoping to get back into the swing of things and enjoy my last few months at Kenyon, second semester starts speeding up and completely slipping away from me. I'm stretching myself to the limit in order to fully enjoy my opportunites here, and as a result I'm so stretched that I can barely think, let alone appreciate my life here.

Something must give. I don't even have a true break to calm down and center myself... Chamber Singers tour is fun but absolutely the opposite of restful, and then I have a couple of days at home and another interview... then I come back to even more pressing lab deadlines, Cornerstones tech week and throwing my recital together at the last minute (with a boyfriend in town who will have to be very understanding of my insane schedule,) a couple of major papers, research conferences... finals... senior week... graduation... and somewhere in there I have to make a decision about grad school and maybe find out that I'm going to a whole different country for a year to do research I know only a little bit about.

Ditching honors is looking better and better. I wish it didn't sting my pride so much, though.

By the way, the random playlist has progressed through Dashboard Confessional - Screaming Infidelities and on to The Darkness - Friday Night. Whee...