Ahem... It has come to my attention that the last post came across as slightly worrisome to people who care about me. (I love you too, mom!)
First of all, my apologies. I meant to save that as a draft this afternoon and add to it for later, but in my rush to head into town I posted a little prematurely. Yes, I did have a pretty bad week, but as I mentioned, things are quite a bit better at the moment. I even remembered to take my iron!
I've been more social in the past couple of days than I've been in quite some time, and it has done me undeniable good. While I'd never consider myself a dyed-in-the-wool extrovert, I've definitely been OD'ing on the "personal time" lately, and I guess I didn't realize how psychologically damaging lonliness can be. (Note to self: I never want to live in a single again. EVER. If I'm not living with a family/MY family, I want a roommate.)
I found a good set of New Year's resolutions: I'm going to be better about forcing myself out of the room and into society. I'm going to quit thinking that being independent and self-sufficient means/isn't diametrically opposed to hermiting myself away to "deal with" my worries and fears all by myself. I'm going to embrace this year fully as the chance of a lifetime, and not something to "get through" before I can get on with my "real" plans.
Some of this stuff has been floating around in my head for a while, but I've been hiding from it, pushing it away and hoping it would take care of itself. It won't. If I'm really unhappy here, I need to give myself a fair shot at addressing the root problems.
And I don't even think I'm really unhappy, particularly not at the moment. Of course I could potentially be more happy right now... if Mike and I were in the same place, for example. But that's hardly a new development... and in two weeks' time, I can actually enjoy a real live hug again. Just two weeks...
In short, things are going to be okay, and I love you.
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2 comments:
I love you so much! I am truly ecstatic that you are coming home, and I understand that most of your time here will be spent with Mike attached at your hip, but know that your lil' sis' here is missing you TREMENDOUSLY. I have complete faith that you will mend all your troubles while over there in Germany, and that you will take full advantage of your 'chance of a lifetime'-- and hopefully enjoy every minute of it! I love you and can't wait to see you soon!
~Kara XOXO
The irony, of course, is that I am ticklish.
I can safely say that with you being on a different continent :-P
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