Busy week ahead

I have three nights of rehearsal and performances Friday and Sunday for the Mozart Requiem! It's the second-last week of classes, so I also have tests and writing exercises to think about... plus whatever shapes up for lab; more tissue samples this week, and hopefully running some more gels. Plus I have a small stack of papers to read.... and I should start organizing things for my presentations for the mid-year conference in March.

I'm busy at the moment! And it's great!

But I still don't know what I'll have to do after the conference. And the idea of not having a project for next semester isn't really sitting any easier now than it did when I first faced it. I can't help but think that I could use the time at home... Yeah, perfect. Second-third-fourth-and-so-on thoughts the week after I book my flight home.

May, and my family's highly anticipated visit, is still far away. Would it be so wrong to enjoy their travels and then just go home a month or so early? Part of me loves the idea. But another part of me just can't handle it... It would be an admission of defeat, because I'm too introverted/anxious/whatever to deal with the cultural differences or the language. It's illogical, because I have income here which I'll lose if I skip out, plus the cost of changing my itinerary again. It's me being a big baby, because I can't stomach the changes to my über-plan (even though the only "change" is a slight delay that I can't do too much about at this point anyway.) This part of me is also very big on doing what is expected of me, especially given the prestige and difficulty inherent in gaining this opportunity in the first place.

Throw into the mix the fact that I don't really know what opportunities I'll have next semester until it gets a little closer, and I think the second side is going to win this one. But I'm still feeling conflicted, and I find myself identifying strongly with songs like The Zombies' Care of Cell 44.

Good morning to you I hope you're feeling better baby
Thinking of me while you are far away
Counting the days until they set you free again
Writing this letter hoping you're okay

Saved you the room you used to stay in every Sunday
The one that is warmed by sunshine every day
And we'll get to know each other for a second time
And then you can tell me 'bout your prison stay...

Feels so good...
You're coming home soon!

It's gonna to be good to have you back again with me
Watching the laughter play around your eyes
Come up and fetch you, saved up for the train fare money
Kiss and make up and it will be so nice...

Feels so good...
You're coming home soon!

Walking the way we used to walk
And it could be so nice...
We're talking the way we used to talk
And it could be so nice...

It's gonna be good to have you back again with me
Watching the laughter play around your eyes
Come up and fetch you, saved up for the train fare money
Kiss and make up and it will be so nice...

Feels so good...
You're coming home soon!
Feels so good...
You're coming home soon!

Plans tonight include a big dinner (stir-fry, I bought chicken again!) and church, followed by homework and studying for tomorrow's vocab test. And trying not to compare myself to a prison inmate...