Change of plans?

I'm in the middle of trying to book my return flight, and finding it slightly amazing that my year in Deutschland is almost at the halfway point already. Of course I'll be ready to go back home when the time comes, but I've also marvelled a little bit at how smoothly I transitioned back to my life here after Christmas. It wasn't perfect... The weather has gotten worse, and for some reason I'm still feeling tired during the day (struggled with Deutschkurs-induced narcolepsy all week) and I'm finding it strangely difficult to fall asleep at night. But I'm cooking again and eating pretty well, and somehow talking to people isn't as scary as I once found it, and I'm having loads of fun exploring embryology firsthand in lab. I found the cerebellum of a 12-day old chicken embryo today! Whee!

I also had an interesting conversation with Herman, my immediate supervisor. He'd mentioned something previously about his position in the lab being temporary unless some funding got moved around, and now it seems like he's out of here as early as March. I don't think that I'm going to be shunted into yet another lab group (Herman was asked to take me on shortly before my arrival when the guy I was originally supposed to be working with left) but the gist of the conversation was essentially an effort to feel out my level of committment to lab work. Do I want to take on more? Do I want to continue at the current pace, finish this project in a month or two and then just hang out in Germany and enjoy my time here? Do I want to focus on studies next semester, take more classes, and cut back in lab?

I rather got the idea that backing out on my research emphasis would get him off the hook too, since he has quite a bit to do before the move and he's been the one providing me with direct guidance/stuff to do in lab. I'm sorry to hear that he's leaving, but I also tried to make it clear that I DON'T want to lose out on research experience this year. Since coming back I've actually been trying to figure out how to ask for more to do... I just didn't figure out how to approach it before today's news came out.

At the same time, am I being silly? I want to get some significant traveling in next semester when family comes to visit. I haven't visited Bayern yet. I want to see Mike's family in Austria. There was talk of a Kieler Woche language course reunion. I'd also love to take weekend side trips to visit friends, since I know people all over the place and haven't really seen anyone's digs.

Back in the other direction, I'm not going to have any kind of productive semester if I don't keep up the lab work. I dropped neuro lecture because I didn't like the scheduling, so I'm not sure I could beg my way back in at this point. Plus, my grant period is over before the end of the summer semester's lectures anyway, so I'd miss the finals for any classes I do take. I could easily apply for a couple weeks' extension to my grant, but I refuse to miss my cousin's and friend's weddings in July.

Dratted over-achieving nature. Sure, it's at least partly responsible for getting me here in the first place, but at the same time the idea of a semester-long vacation doesn't sit well. I visualize myself hermitting away in my room most of the time, claustrophobic and antisocial, without any kind of impetus to do anything but sleep, eat gummy bears, and check out the 49% of the internet I haven't seen yet. I realize that this spectre is unlikely to come to pass, but I'm seriously at a loss over how to fill my day-to-day when I don't have stuff to accomplish. I can only watch so much German TV before my brain oozes out my ears, same with reading. I would cut off my own foot rather than join a gym. Night life is unattractive, as I like seeing the sun, hate the smell of cigarette smoke, and am at best indifferent to alcohol; I like dancing, but not being groped by strangers.

Well, my over-supervisor is sticking around, and comments were made about Herman coming back a couple days a week, at least at first. I guess I'll just have to see how it plays out. I still have at least a month and a half's worth of work to do, so that'll have to do for now.